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The thought process..

February 24, 2011 Leave a comment

This might look like a crazy idea but i think it is necessary to clear few things. The first thing people always ask was, do you know when you are going to get married? I know few freinds are just waiting to hear the good news but yes, it’s a thought process and I have told people that I don’t want to hurry and make a decision. Every year I plan my vacation, our good friends come out with some proposal thing. Its kinda funny that some of the talks were initiated without my consent as if I told them.lol. Dont blame them but its part and parcel.

Ok, so what is my stand? why do I need to put up a blog with this info? what happens when someone approaches you and then wants to take it further from there? I think it’s better to re-direct people to a place which tells them or at least gives them enough info to take it to the next level. Oh yes, I understand that I will be marrying one person but it’s not going to be like you meet someone and start talking and then she would be the person I will marry. No it isn’t that way and you for sure know that things do not work that way and there are several other things to look at before proceeding.  The whole idea of not involving others in this is to make sure I get to know the person well before its taken forward. yes, indeed it’s a decision that I will be taking for life and there is a thought process for sure. The thinking behind is to keep myself open to the world, it means different things but what I mean here is to keep things clean and clear. Signing up on few matrimonial sites and providing basic info there is fine. It also doesn’t make sense to become a premium member there. yes, maybe one or two places but not for a long time. The easiest of all would be to take the conversation through email or phone once an interest is expressed. I would prefer email than phone if somebody provided their phone number in the email. Coming to the point of making myself available is to see if there is someone out there who matches what I’m looking for or if I match their preference and criteria. This makes perfect sense for both parties and expression of interest is only the first step. However, if someone thinks I match their preference and need more info they can contact me through the sites and I will be happy to give as much info possible about me and my family.

There is another way of communicating with the prospect partner through Facebook or any social networking site. As soon as people hear of Facebook they are like oh no, its a private profile and go underground. For example, my openness means I want to be clear on my intentions and everyone should be able to read through my life and Facebook or any social networking site is the best option. Though some may not agree on this, I have no problem. Its one own decision how they want to communicate. This way you do the homework and it really helps in making a decision of life. What really are the persons interest, hobbies etc. and if that matches what you are looking for. Probably there may be people out there with unclear intentions like they meet someone and then spoil the purpose. In the first phase you start to feel that’s not the person, you are most welcome to let that person know that things are not making any sense and it would be good to look at other options. that’s the be best and possible way to look at it.  There are times when you get to know someone through a friend or through the matrimonial site, you express interest but doesn’t mean that this is the person you are going to marry. yes, communication is the key and no matter which part of the world you are in, the information is available online most of the times and you can try contacting the person as a follow-up on the interest expressed, this is the basic and first step. again, it depends on the culture people have grown up. in the US, its ok to contact the person but if someone is from asia they feel like the guy/girl is stalking, sorry for using this word but i would say something like that. It’s ok to do the due diligence before you even respond to a request. they may be strangers but everyone is a stranger the first you meet them.isnt it? so doing the homework is really important and one can really make a first contact without having to give more info or details. once things are looking better, see if its making sense. I’m not an advocate of Facebook but I feel its one place one can really get to know someone. the likes, the dislikes and people who are involved and all the things that would help in the decision-making. Even employers these days use Facebook and check on several things before they take someone in. it’s the same concept because you are making a decision of life and you really need to know few things about the person.. I have heard of experiences of few people that they were really unaware of few things and had to cancel the proposal at the last moment. This can be avoided and doing the homework makes sense.

Feel free to add in your comments or better ways to interact/communicate. It’s an effort to keep the process simple!I

I just wanted to dedicate this blog to all folks who plan to settled down in life and have signed up at matrimonial sites, etc. If it was not your decision then you would not be here in the first place. Good luck in your partner search!

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Categories: Friends, Personal

Worry!!

December 14, 2010 2 comments

A mom passing by her son’s bedroom was astonishd. D bed was nicly made n evrythng was packd.She saw an envlop on d bed.It was adressd “MOM.” She opend d envlop n read d lettr wid tremblng hands.

‘Dear mom,its wid gr8 regrt dat im writing 2 u. I had 2 run away wid my galfrnd coz i wanna avoid d scene wid dad n u. I’v been findin real passion wid her n shz so nice evn her dimpl cheeks n swt eyes n gud charctr. Dnt wry mom im 21yrs old i knw hw 2 tc of myslf. Sumday v’l come n vist so u can get 2 knw ur grndchldrn’

A tear trickled down as she read on….

MOM, none of d abov is true!
Im @ neighbors house!I jus wanna remind u dat der r worse things in lyf dan my Results on my desk. Call wen its safe 4 me 2 come home !

Don’t you worry, there are other things to worry 🙂

Categories: Friends, Personal Tags: ,

Be Thankful…

November 28, 2010 Leave a comment
Often times we do not realize the gift of God and are not thankful for what we have. Apostle Paul was thankful for everything though he had suffered. Paul was either in prison or in synagogues preaching the people.  Paul was a man of gratitude and if we read each of his letters he begins by thanking the people.
Lets thank God for everything he has given to us and lets together say:
  • I’m Thankful for my faith
  • I’m Thankful for my family
  • I’m Thankful for my friends
  • I’m Thankful for my finances
  • I’m Thankful for my future

Thanks be to God...

inspired by Dr. David Jeremiah‘s speech on thanksgiving.
Categories: Friends, Personal, Religious

Love, Sex & Marriage…

November 17, 2010 Leave a comment

The topic was very well discussed in the youth retreat led by Mr. Philip Cherian held on Aug 15th, 2007 @ St.Thomas Church, R.C.Puram, Hyderabad. Philip Cherian is the director of Formations India , he has been a source of inspiration for many youths and his talks relate to his personal experience. Coming to the topic discussed in the meeting, he classified love as three types

  • If- Love
  • Because- Love
  • Full Stop –Love

In ‘If love’ a person will love a person if he/she has or possesses something for eg:// some girls when they talk would say like, I would love him if he had a guitar in hand, and if he had a Yamaha motor bike. All the if conditions.

The second type of love is because Love, where a person loves his/her partner because he/she is son of a millionaire, or he/she is a famous personality,etc..

The third type is the Full stop love, where you don’t find a single instance of both the partners quarrelling with each other. There is a mutual understanding with each other and one doesn’t play a blame game… What advantages one has when he/she loves full stop is there is no chance of taking advantage of the opposite sex for what he/she has done in the past. What I mean was the person trust his partner and knows and believes that both are living a true and Christian life.

There were also examples given on how people get into wrong things and end up in trouble. Philip Cherian gave an example of a guy who flirted around at the age of 19 and kept finding new girl friends till the age of 29… What he wanted to emphasize from this example was the guy wasted 10 years running around different girl friends for 10 years and messed up his life. There is something we can take from this example, it’s like instead of wasting time for all this, he should have spent his time for things which were necessary to do at that age for a better career and a true Christian life.

He also gave an example of a guy who was just in school, the small kid came and asked him is it good to have a girl friend?? And Philip cherian’s reply was yes to that…Teens pls concentrate here.. Philip Cherian told yes to have a girl friend..thats something strange right?? Anyways, he advised the guy to have friends who are girls and have many girl friends instead of only one…the age factor should always be considered when you think something like this is gonna happen in your life..Is it the right time..or is it the right person or is it ok to have a boy/girl frnd at this age. . (now maybe too early to comment on this.. There was also advice for the young generation, he said it was OK  to be attracted to one person. It’s a human tendency, he also told that it’s legitimate…Being attractive is fine but don’t get addicted to that attraction and it can become lust. I hope it was clear in here… he also told that it’s good to dress properly and have a good physique. Human body is a gift of God and we need to be fit and keep away from too much of junk and things like that…He also emphasized that it’s always a better option to set your goals and decide the age when you are going to get married.

Love is true but don't be fooled.

 

Your thoughts, suggestions are most welcome….

 

Thanks

Varghese

Categories: Friends, Personal, Religious

World of the generous…

October 18, 2010 Leave a comment

World of the generous gets larger and larger but the world of the stingy gets smaller and smaller
I was watching the sermon by Pastor Brian Houston, the sermon was about getting the momentum in life and how we can go about changing the world around us. We often become stingy and then start to cut back from the reality. We do not want to move forward as there is worry about the future. I noted down few points from the sermon and I hope will beusefulfor each oneof us to get back our momentum.

Positive words and outlookProverbs 12:25(New International Version)
25 An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up.
Have a positive outlook andkind words would definitely cheer us up.

Life giving partnershipsProverbs 13:20(New International Version)
20 He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.
Never ever walk away from partnerships. Be there and provide the needed guidance to the one in need.

A commitment to community and people.Hebrews 10:25(New International Version)
25Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
Continue to encourage one other and reach-out to the community and people.

Sacrificial commitment and volunteer. Timothy 6:17(New International Version)
17Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment.
If we want see more momentum, we should be ready to give, willing to share and help carry the load. Don’t get stingy , don’t just be there. Stay in the house and carry the load.

Believe in the cause. John 18:37(New International Version)
37″You are a king, then!” said Pilate.Jesus answered, “You are right in saying I am a king. In fact, for this reason I was born, and for this I came into the world, to testify to the truth. Everyone on the side of truth listens to me.”
Youthful dreams and visionsBe daring enough and keep dreaming. Be generouswith ur words, and don’t just drawback, try to extend urself.

God bless you!

Yours in Christ,
Varghese Thomas

Categories: Friends, Religious Tags: ,

Friends

October 10, 2009 Leave a comment
Friendship is not about “I m sorry “ its about “abbe teri galti hai “ 

Friendship is not about “I m there for u” or “I missed u “ it’s about “kahan marr gaya saale “

Friendship is not about “I understand “ its about “sab teri wajah se hua manhus“

Friendship is not about “I care for u “ its about “kamino tumhe chhod ke kahan jaunga “

Friendship is not about “I m happy for ur success “its about “chal party de saale“

Friendship is not about “I love that girl“ its about “saalo izzat se dekho tumhari bhabhi hain “

Friendship is not about “R u coming for outing tomorrow “ its about “ nautanki nahi, hum kal bahar ja rahe hai “

Friendship is not about “Get well soon “its about “Itna piyega toh yehi hoga“

Friendship is not about “All the best for ur career“ its about “ bahut hua, abhi toh switch mar saale“ 

 
fwd from a friend 🙂
-Tom
Categories: Friends