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The thought process..

This might look like a crazy idea but i think it is necessary to clear few things. The first thing people always ask was, do you know when you are going to get married? I know few freinds are just waiting to hear the good news but yes, it’s a thought process and I have told people that I don’t want to hurry and make a decision. Every year I plan my vacation, our good friends come out with some proposal thing. Its kinda funny that some of the talks were initiated without my consent as if I told them.lol. Dont blame them but its part and parcel.

Ok, so what is my stand? why do I need to put up a blog with this info? what happens when someone approaches you and then wants to take it further from there? I think it’s better to re-direct people to a place which tells them or at least gives them enough info to take it to the next level. Oh yes, I understand that I will be marrying one person but it’s not going to be like you meet someone and start talking and then she would be the person I will marry. No it isn’t that way and you for sure know that things do not work that way and there are several other things to look at before proceeding.  The whole idea of not involving others in this is to make sure I get to know the person well before its taken forward. yes, indeed it’s a decision that I will be taking for life and there is a thought process for sure. The thinking behind is to keep myself open to the world, it means different things but what I mean here is to keep things clean and clear. Signing up on few matrimonial sites and providing basic info there is fine. It also doesn’t make sense to become a premium member there. yes, maybe one or two places but not for a long time. The easiest of all would be to take the conversation through email or phone once an interest is expressed. I would prefer email than phone if somebody provided their phone number in the email. Coming to the point of making myself available is to see if there is someone out there who matches what I’m looking for or if I match their preference and criteria. This makes perfect sense for both parties and expression of interest is only the first step. However, if someone thinks I match their preference and need more info they can contact me through the sites and I will be happy to give as much info possible about me and my family.

There is another way of communicating with the prospect partner through Facebook or any social networking site. As soon as people hear of Facebook they are like oh no, its a private profile and go underground. For example, my openness means I want to be clear on my intentions and everyone should be able to read through my life and Facebook or any social networking site is the best option. Though some may not agree on this, I have no problem. Its one own decision how they want to communicate. This way you do the homework and it really helps in making a decision of life. What really are the persons interest, hobbies etc. and if that matches what you are looking for. Probably there may be people out there with unclear intentions like they meet someone and then spoil the purpose. In the first phase you start to feel that’s not the person, you are most welcome to let that person know that things are not making any sense and it would be good to look at other options. that’s the be best and possible way to look at it.  There are times when you get to know someone through a friend or through the matrimonial site, you express interest but doesn’t mean that this is the person you are going to marry. yes, communication is the key and no matter which part of the world you are in, the information is available online most of the times and you can try contacting the person as a follow-up on the interest expressed, this is the basic and first step. again, it depends on the culture people have grown up. in the US, its ok to contact the person but if someone is from asia they feel like the guy/girl is stalking, sorry for using this word but i would say something like that. It’s ok to do the due diligence before you even respond to a request. they may be strangers but everyone is a stranger the first you meet them.isnt it? so doing the homework is really important and one can really make a first contact without having to give more info or details. once things are looking better, see if its making sense. I’m not an advocate of Facebook but I feel its one place one can really get to know someone. the likes, the dislikes and people who are involved and all the things that would help in the decision-making. Even employers these days use Facebook and check on several things before they take someone in. it’s the same concept because you are making a decision of life and you really need to know few things about the person.. I have heard of experiences of few people that they were really unaware of few things and had to cancel the proposal at the last moment. This can be avoided and doing the homework makes sense.

Feel free to add in your comments or better ways to interact/communicate. It’s an effort to keep the process simple!I

I just wanted to dedicate this blog to all folks who plan to settled down in life and have signed up at matrimonial sites, etc. If it was not your decision then you would not be here in the first place. Good luck in your partner search!

Categories: Friends, Personal
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